You can't motorboat a personality
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
