So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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