I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
