Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
