I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
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