just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
