small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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