i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
