well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
