just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
