you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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