Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
