I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
