you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
