Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
