so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I was not drunk enough for that final.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
