Soap is not a condiment
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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