Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
