Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Randomize
