oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
