The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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