You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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