What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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