i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
