I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
