chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
