True but thats because hes a fetus.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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