currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
