he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
