I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
