i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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