We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
this is an emotional support booty call
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
