well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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