Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
