Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
my being single is dangerous.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
