good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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