Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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