what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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