i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
