well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
