Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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