he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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