I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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