Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
