dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
