have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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