I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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