TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
