i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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