That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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