She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
