you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
