it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize