I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
