if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
