HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
