Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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