shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize