i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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