Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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