Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
