Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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