I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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